Driving home from an especially stressful day at work today, I started to get a bit worried about my career choice. I don't believe I've said so on this blog, but I just recently got a job as a security dispatcher at an amusement park (That may sound like a lame job, but trust me, we get plenty of excitement. Today alone we had multiple EMT calls, a few thefts, and a couple of kids arrested for possession of cocaine and assaulting a security officer. Yesterday we had a fire, and fights among guests are a regular occurrence).
Anyway, today was my first day working my station alone - that meant that if I needed help or didn't know what to do with a call, that was too bad. The girl working on the other station was new at what she was doing as well, so we were both stressing and didn't have much opportunity to take breaks. On top of this, we had one of the busiest days I have ever seen. By the time I left, I felt like I was going to cry. So I thought to myself, if I can't handle this, how the hell am I going to manage being a police officer? All they do all day is respond to emergencies. It's like my job now, only with more serious problems and I have to actually fix them instead of simply telling others to.
In a few minutes of panic, I questioned the choice I made for my career path, and questioned myself - would I be able to handle a job like that? I calmed down quickly, though, and though of this: I did just fine today. I was stressed out, but I answered all of my calls and figured out the appropriate thing to do, with almost zero help. And already, emergencies are becoming routine to me. Between dispatch calls, I play sudoku and read books and eat fruit snacks. And this is after less than a month of working there. Certainly after working as a police officer for a few years, such emergencies will hardly phase me. And in any case, my reasons for choosing the career strongly overpower any reasons for changing my mind.
So I had a short "identity crisis" today, but overcame it. Now all I need is a friggin break. I'm exhausted.
You don't always have To do everything right. Stand up for yourself, And put up a fight. I'm gonna live my life. I can't ever run and hide. I won't compromise 'Cause I'll never know. I'm gonna close my eyes, I can't watch the time go by. I won't keep it inside, Freak out, let it go.
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